Strip Club Fail

I just worked at the most pathetic strip club I've ever seen. The place is beyond dive.

The bartender wears slippers at work - pink (or used to be pink) house shoes. The strippers sit around playing cards with the customers (if you can call them customers, they don't buy any dances) in between their stage sets.

One of the girls fancies herself a diva but is clearly about 10 years past her prime; she works overtime trying to make herself look oh-so-important. The other was a plain drunk who couldn't function without several shots. That was their entire selection besides me.

The DJ is so useless, the strippers play their own music while he sits in the booth literally doing nothing. The bartender announces the girls with her portable mic from behind the bar. What are the girls paying the DJ for??

The diva girl lives in a camper parked behind the club. I guess that's convenient. Since the DJ doesn't even know how to use the music equipment, the girls manage the music in the computer and set up their own playlists for every set. Diva girl, pretending to be nice at the beginning of the shift, offered to load my music from my USB drive onto the computer, but instead deleted all the music from my USB! Grrrr!! Now I have to go through the files on my laptop and reload work music to the USB. Annoying.

The guys are allowed to lie on their backs on the stage for a dancer to dry hump them in front of everyone for ONE DOLLAR. Not one lapdance was sold all night. Why buy a lapdance when you can get dry-humped on stage for $1? This club reaches a whole 'nother level of pathetic that I don't remember ever seeing in my 14 years of stripping!

The dressing room is literally a storage room with a couple mirrors and some old room divider thrown in. Notice the vacuum cleaner in the one pic - I'd bet that thing hasn't been used in 10 years. LOL. The pics in this post are all from the dressing room, and the pics just don't convey how terrible it is. The usable space in there is about 5 feet by 6 feet. Not exactly user-friendly.

The place is a disaster all around. The pole feels like it's about to fall down any second. Nasty, grimy bathrooms that look like they haven't been cleaned since the Vietnam war. The pool table had dead bugs of various species all over the felt. I'm sure that makes for some interesting pool games!

I finally walked out of the place with a whopping $10, and I didn't even have to pay any fees! Needless to say, I will not be back to this club. $10 is not worth rolling out of bed for, certainly not worth taking clothes off.

Now I have to find somewhere to work the rest of this week, because I'm in yet another podunk town and my next booking starts Monday, July 27. Hmmmm, where to work??